Rhonda Robinson Rhonda Robinson is a mother of nine, and grandmother of 16, who believes the single most powerful force in America today is a vigilant mother, unafraid to nurture and protect her children. Still married to her high school sweetheart, Rhonda is a homeschooling mother by day, and a speaker, weekly newspaper columnist, and freelance writer by night (actually, really early morning before anyone is up—but it’s still dark out, so that counts.) Spanning 20 years of homeschooling and childbirth, Rhonda has gained over 572 pounds and lost 500, nursed a total of 17 years, and changed at least 29, 952 diapers, and rocked over 5,000 miles of tearful terrain. She holds a Master’s degree in laundry and speaks fluent toddler. View all articles | Contact author

Hi. I have a a question about my 5 yr old daughter. I'm desperate
 for any wisdom. We are raising her in a home where God's word
 is the authority and we are trying to teach her about sacrificial 
love. She makes friends easily, even though she is home schooled. 
She has a particular friend with whom she has a weekly play date.
This is her "best friend" she says. When we are atchurch she prefers
 to play with other friends.Does she have an obligation to play with 
her "best friend" always? She is very popular and I regularly have
 her friends asking me where she is so they can play with her.This 
seems like such a silly issue,but I know from experience how painful 
it can be to be the "best friend" who is left by the wayside.Obviously 
it is not sin for her to have a variety of friends.How do I disciple her 
through this and teach her to think biblically. Looking forward to 
your reply.  
---Liesel




Dear Leisel,

I'm not surprised that your 5 year old is very social. Two things are
at play here. First, as a loving mother you have no doubt 
demonstratedfor her how to behave. As a homeschooler, she has 
had the freedom to enjoy and develop her friendships. 

Let's separate a couple of issues. First, teaching her about 
sacrificial love. You're teaching her the true depth of Christ's 
love by displaying it. If one is told they must sacrifice, the act 
is no longer a sacrifice. Sacrifice can only come from the heart. 
Don't get me wrong, a very young child is capable of sacrificial 
love. 

One of my girls, Chelsea, is deaf. She was an extremely strong 
willed child who spent most of her time frustrated. Her lack of 
early communication skills was hard for her and her siblings. 
Hannah was just two years younger than Chelsea, but being
a hearing child, she understood far more than Chelsea did. 

When Hannah was just under three, the two girls were playing with 
their dolls on the stairs. Chelsea wanted Hannah's doll. I watched 
as Hannah gave Chelsea her doll. At first it was obvious that she 
wanted to make her sister happy, and gave it to her willingly. 
However, soon after Hannah realized what she had lost, and went
 to cry quietly alone. 

I comforted Hannah and told her how proud I was of her. Sacrifice 
is often painful;the rewards come later. She was glad she gave her 
the doll.

Had I stepped in earlier, and told Hannah she must give her sister the doll to be
Christ like, I believe she would not have learned the right lesson,
because her heart was not yet prepared. 

As for your daughter, she must always be kind to her friends, and careful not to exclude one
over the other in a way that makes her friend feel hurt. 

However, it is good for your daughter to play with other friends, especially if she only 
gets to see them once a week.

Homeschooling provides fertile ground to build friendships that can last a lifetime.
Each one of my children have several friends that they have known all
of their lives. It is a wonderful gift. 

If you teach your daughter to nurture all of her friendships (some will bloom, others
will fade) then over time they will grow into deep and lasting
friendships, and opportunities for sacrificial love will come naturally.

WHAT WILL NEXT WEEK'S QUESTION BE???

That depends on what you submit!