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Published : March 12, 2009 |
Author : MilMama
Category : U. Infertility Issues | Total Views
: 242 | Rating :  
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 MilMama
I am a Christian military wife, currently living in Germany with my preschooler son and toddler daughter. My husband is deployed to Iraq at this time.
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My husband and I married in May 1998. Even before we married, we knew
that we wanted children and agreed to add to our family via both birth
and adoption.
After five years of trying unsuccessfully to get
pregnant, we were pretty discouraged. I knew that I had a very
irregular cycle, but my doctor did not seem very concerned. My PAPs
and pelvic exams were always normal, so I was told not to worry. I
finally insisted on being checked further, and it was discovered that I
have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS. This means that I have lots
of tiny cysts all over my ovaries, and that interferes with the
production of fertile eggs.
My husband and I decided that it was
time to look into adoption. We chose a Christian agency and began the
long process of the background checks, home studies, and counseling.
Over the next two years, there were several possible matches, but other
potential couples were always chosen instead of us. It was a time of
great discouragement, especially when it seemed like every woman I knew
was getting pregnant at the drop of a hat! I was tempted to give up
many times, but I chose to claim Psalm 113:9 as God's promise to me,
and I drew encouragement from the biblical stories of Sarah and Hannah,
who had both suffered from barren wombs.
There came a point when
my husband and I seriously thought about switching adoption agencies,
to see if we would have more success elsewhere. Then one afternoon at
work, I got a call out of nowhere from our adoption counselor. He said
that a baby boy had been abandoned at a hospital at birth a week
earlier, and needed to be placed in a home. My husband and I did not
hesitate to jump on the opportunity! We would have to be considered
foster parents initially, as the State was required to do a due
diligence search for the parents and give them every chance to claim
their child. That was a risk we were willing to take, as we felt
strongly that the Lord was telling us that this child was our son.
What
made things even more special was that my grandma had just passed away
that week, and my family had all agreed to meet at my grandma's
favorite restaurant in honor of her. So, with all of the family
gathered in sorrow, we were able to break news of great joy!
We
brought our baby boy home from the hospital two days later, and
immediately began to call him "Isaiah" even though his name was legally
"Christopher" and would be until the adoption was final. We settled
into our role as parents and began the adoption process. This was in
August 2005.
I still felt strongly about trying to have a
biological baby, so my husband and I also agreed that I would see a
fertility specialist. The first few methods tried were unsuccessful,
but when Isaiah was about 8 months old, I finally became pregnant!
Our
story became complex, however. We had always lived in Illinois, and we
were licensed for adoption in the state of Illinois. We desired to
move to Indiana, but we were initially told by the agency that we had
to remain in Illinois until the adoption was final. Just before I
became pregnant, they told us that we could move to Indiana after all,
and that a document called an interstate compact would be drawn up. So
we bought a house in Indiana and made the move.
What we were not
told was that we would have to apply for an adoption license in the
state of Indiana. When we finally learned that, we immediately began
the required process. However, due to credit issues at the time, our
application for licensing was rejected. To make matters worse, our
license for Illinois had been surrendered when we started the process
to apply in Indiana. This meant that we had an illegal child in our
home! He was legally still a ward of the state of Illinois, and they
had to put him in another foster home.
I must say that our
adoption agency was very supportive in doing everything they could to
get our Illinois license reinstated. We were required to move back to
Illinois and sell our brand new Indiana home. That was a big blow, but
it crushed me even more to have my baby boy taken from me. I was
allowed to visit him, however, and I did as often as I could. The
whole process of moving back to Illinois and getting our license
reinstated took about a month. That was the longest month of my life,
and we were constantly at risk of losing Isaiah for good if things
didn't go through. But God meant that little boy to be ours, and he
came back home to us finally. Isaiah's adoption became final in June
2007.
In the meanwhile, I was pregnant during this whole
licensing ordeal. I was due in January 2007, but my legs and feet
swelled badly during my third trimester and my doctor was concerned for
me. I went to her office one day in December 2006 for a routine weekly
check, and she decided to hospitalize me. I did not develop
preeyclampsia or blood clots as feared, but she felt that it was best
to induce labor anyway. I went into the hospital on a Monday, was
induced on Wednesday, and was still undelivered by Friday. I was fully
dilated, but I could not push the baby out no matter how hard I tried.
They ended up doing a C-section, and I was so relieved! Lydia was born
about a month early, but the Lord was faithful again and she was
healthy. We went home three days later.
My children are a joy
to me, and they look like they are biological siblings. They get along
with each other for the most part, and I consider each of them to be
miracles--gifts from God. I had many people praying for many years
that I would become a mother, and God did answer prayer. We have had
various trials since then, but He has always been faithful to care for
us. |
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