I grew up in the 50's and 60's in a small Midwestern town.  My paternal grandparents lived right next door to us the whole time we 4 children were growing up.  My maternal grandmother, whom we saw frequently, lived in a town 15 miles away.  These 3 grandparents had a tremendously positive influence on us in many ways.  Just the effect of our extended family who loved us, living so close added a lot to our feeling of love and security.  Our mother was a stay-at-home Mom, but our grandparents were always there and available if needed.  When we ran out of milk for our breakfast cereal or sugar for a recipe, we ran next door to borrow some.  When our one bathroom for 6 people, which was normal in those days, was occupied, we ran (literally) next door.  We have wonderful memories of our grandparents being involved in our lives and interacting with us, both in the good times and the bad.

     One of my regrets in raising our 3 children is that we lived hundreds of miles away from our extended families most of the time our kids were growing up.  They didn't have the advantage I had of having this positive impact in their lives.  But they did have one grandma who made up for the long distances by frequent visits, letters, cards, phone calls, and "care packages" via the UPS man.  Her efforts to stay connected with us were greatly appreciated and had the same positive effect I enjoyed with my grandparents so close.

     I now have 12 grandchildren, and I'm very blessed to have them all living within half an hour of me.  All of their Moms are stay-at-home Moms who homeschool them.  I try to make an effort to see all of them frequently while trying to find the balance of not suffocating them with my presence too much.  Because of my background, I realize the importance of a loving, extended family in these kids' lives.

     In this day of fragmented families and long distance grandparenting, it is important to the stability of children to know they are loved and important to many people.

     In his book How People Grow,  Henry Cloud says, "People's most basic need in life is relationship.  People connected to other people thrive and grow, and those not connected wither and die.  It is a medical fact, for example, that from infancy to old age, health depends on the amount of social connection people have.....Virtually every emotional and psychological problem, from addictions to depression, has alienation or isolation at its core." 1

     Grandparents can and should have a huge positive impact in the lives of their grandchildren by staying connected in a loving relationship.

 

1. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals about Personal Growth (Grand Rapids, MI.: Zondervan, 2001), 122.