I am so excited that MamaKnowsBest has had the chance to interview Mrs. Kendra Smiley - LIVE! 

Also, enter a comment below to win a copy of one of Kendra's books! More info below!

      YOU CAN ENTER ONE COMMENT PER INTERVIEW SEGMENT, SO THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO IMPROVE YOUR ODDS AT WINNING A BOOK!!

And now, without further ado.....


INTERVIEW

WITH

MRS. KENDRA SMILEY

 

Oh, ya! For years! I started in 1980, and it was a home-based business of direct sale of Christian books. It was a lot of fun. I didn't make a lot of money, but it fed my reading habit and I was able to have good books around for the children to read. We were on a limited budget, and I wouldn't have been able to do that otherwise. Also, the money it did bring in meant we could go to Subway or McDonalds, and we also got to go to the conventions! We heard wonderful speakers and singers there, and would just have a great time. 

So, the book High Wire Mom is about that – running a business at home. There are three parts, talking about priorities, about the business aspect of it, and then about time management. 

Before I had kids I taught school and coached athletics, and I managed my time, but it was different because I had someone telling me when to be where, and what to do. Then all of a sudden, I was a stay at home mom and I found myself thinking, "I could clean out the refrigerator…… or I could wait until tomorrow!" because no one was telling me what to do.  But then I realized that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life saying, "Or I could wait til tomorrow…"

So, that whole concept of managing time is for anybody, whether they have a home business or not.

One of our readers sent these questions in:

I'd love to hear more about how to balance home life with a home based job. I find myself staying up very late to "work" and then I'm too tired during the day to be a good mom... but it seems like if I try to do work during the day I end up pushing the kids away all day long. I'd love some wisdom!

Of course, nap time is incredible! One other thing that I did, a very practical thing was this.  I started my business when my oldest son was not quite 2, and I was pregnant with our second child. So one thing I would do is give my son his own desk. It had a lid that would slide open and had a chalk board on top. I would put things in it that he "needed", like scrap paper and stickers and crayons and such, and I would say to him, "Let's go in the office and work!"  So we would do that and he would "work" and invent his own games. We would interact a little, but not so much that I had to be playing with him.

That's another thing – I think it is an interesting concept in this day in age that we have to "play" with our children all the time.  You really don't. It really is kind of a gift if you can teach them how to amuse themselves.

Now getting back to the issue of balance – sometimes I would do "work" because it was more fun!  I sold books, so I would sort the books, or I would read and then say – "Sorry, I'm working!" So, it's important to remember what really is important.

I got a call one day from another gal I was in direct sales with, and my children had labeled her the "mom hog", because she would call and we would not really accomplish anything, but she would just hog mom's time! So, I got a call from her one time, and I wasn't even talking – just listening to her talk and "yepping" politely from time to time. Well, I came into the living room and my youngest son (the older two were in school at the time) had gotten out every single toy anyone owned and they were all over the place.

 So, I calmly said that he needed to pick the toys up. He was a very laid-back child, not strong-willed at all, and he said to me, "I'm too busy. Im not going to pick up the toys any more times."  And I remember thinking, "Where did he learn that phrase??"  … and I realized he'd heard me say it. "Im too busy, I'm too busy". So that was a huge wake up call, because that child was so easy-going, and he wasn't demanding. Because of that, I overlooked him too much. So that was a huge wake up call to never, ever, ever overlook him – he's so much more important. I'm so thankful for that to this day. We have a great relationship, and I know God intervened that day. 

So, some of the things you think you have to do, you may not have to do.   And by the same token, teach your child to function without you having to be with them every second of the day.  Have a good eye on them, but you don't have to "play" with them.

What's a good way to measure if you're spending enough time caring for your children during the day while trying to run a home based business? --Michelle

Oh, wow, I don't know if there is a good way to measure that.  My first thought off the top of my head is the contentment of your child, but there are just a lot of children that come into this world discontent, so that's not necessarily it!  I think that depends on the individual child. It really does, so that's when I think she's going to have to go to a Higher Source.  That's out of my pay grade!

When each of my boys were seniors in high school, they went on a trip with Mom. So, when I took Jonathon with me, we went to a convention, and one of the keynote speakers took him aside and asked him (because she thought it would be funny), "How do you and your mom get along?"

Well, apparently I had shared what had gone on earlier in his life with someone when he was old enough to understand and interpret it, so he answered her like this, "Oh, God talked to her when I was little and said, 'Don't take advantage of him, cause he's real easy-going! So, we get along real well because mom listened to God."

So, I think God can do that. The Word of God says that if we lack wisdom, we are to ask for it, so that's where she needs to go for that question.

Before we close, Is there anything else you would like to share with other mothers?

I would like to encourage them to just hang in there. Do not grow wearing in well doing, for in due season you will reap a harvest of blessings if you don't get discouraged and give up.

There were times, especially with our strong-willed child, multiple times, when I would lie in bed at night and I would say to my husband John, "Why does Aaron hate me?"  Because I just couldn't understand why we couldn't just get along! Why we had to have these struggles every day!

And John would always say the same thing, "Aaron doesn't hate you. He's just testing you. He's just testing you to see if you still love him enough to be the parent."

And that is so incredibly difficult some days. There are times when we think we just can't do this job, that we are not equipped. Yes, you are! God never calls us to do something that He doesn't equip us to do, and that includes being a mama.

There were times when I thought, "This is too hard of a job for me, I think" – but you don't give up, and you see those glimmers. Keep a journal or a log of when you have a breakthrough, and then even if it's been weeeeeeks since you've had one, you can go back and read that.

KNOW that God is going to help you with this job! He wants His kids to sing their song.   

THANK YOU SO MUCH, Mrs. Smiley, for sharing with us! It has been a pleasure hearing from your heart!

You may also want to check out her site: www.kendrasmiley.com

NOW, TO WIN A BOOK!!! Mrs. Smiley has given two copies each of four of her books for readers of MamaKnowsBest!  The drawing will take place on June 24th! Simply leave a comment below to be entered in the drawing, which will take place after the last of the article segments is published. YOU MAY LEAVE ONE COMMENT PER INTERVIEW SEGMENT, SO HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO INCREASE YOUR ODDS AT WINNING A BOOK!!!  You do not have to be a member to leave a comment and enter the drawing!!! If you have a preference about which book you would like, you may include that in your comment. MORE INFO ABOUT HER BOOKS HERE: Kendra Smiley's books.    BE the Parent: Seven Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids High Wire Mom: Balancing Your Family and a Business @ Home Do Your Kids a Favor.... Love Your Spouse Journey of a Strong-Willed Child