bettyweinberger We've led a home-based Messianic Jewish congregation for 16 years, under the supervision of a larger congregation in Chicagoland. We've homeschooled two sons through high school. We've written books on parenting and the feasts of the Lord. And we're learning about careers, colleges, courtships, as our sons are finishing law school (one of them) and majoring in violin performance (the other one). View all articles | Contact author

Being married in our mid-thirties, imagine our joy when we were expecting our first child!  It was a dream come true for both of us, a desire of our hearts being fulfilled!  Believe me, we didn't take it for granted.

That first time in the hospital when the nurse called me "mama," wow, how honored I felt!  Could it be true?  But even with that deep desire being fulfilled and my joy being extreme, raising our first baby wasn't easy.  The sleepless nights, the crying, the refusal of the baby to be comforted at times and not knowing why, the advice and fears that others shared with us, the hormone changes and peaked emotions, the nursing questions and challenges—I was often overwhelmed.

I, like so many other mothers of my day, was a "first generation" nursing mother.  My mother used bottles. And she thinks my grandmother did too. My mother tried to breastfeed my older sister, but she had no one to give her such practical tips as making it a point to change breasts.   So very soon after she started nursing, my mother ran into a problem where one breast became impacted.  The doctor treated her by putting her in the hospital and prescribing medication to dry up her milk supply. After that experience, she was afraid to try breastfeeding for any more of her children. As for my grandmother's generation, she and her sisters were called to work in the factories at a very young age due to the depression and pre-World War II economy.  Hence, many of the "old ways" were lost.  So when I became a new mother and decided to nurse, it was a challenge to find someone who could counsel me.

  We had not yet heard of our "Homefirst" doctors who encourage home births and nursing.  So we were influenced by the pediatrician's talk to pregnant couples that we heard at the hospital a few weeks before the birth.  He said, "A baby needs to eat every four hours.  Don't let him manipulate you.  You are the boss.  Put the baby on your schedule.  Even if you nurse, every four hours is sufficient."

We know now that this was faulty information, but we didn't know it back then.  We believed this advice and when baby Lael would cry so often, we figured he couldn't be hungry so it must be something else. We would try rocking him, walking him, rubbing him.  When that didn't work, I'd try nursing again as a last resort.  Remarkably, that would often satisfy him.  Then if he'd cry an hour later, we'd go through the same reasoning again.  "He can't be hungry already!  It must be something else."